it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
