just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
