Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
