Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
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