Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
