ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
