Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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