She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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