are you so shy because you have an std?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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