why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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