My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
