dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
