I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
