Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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