I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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