I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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