and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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