u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
