And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
