I got chris browned last night
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
