It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize