Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
