singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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