Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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