I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
