He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
