omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize