babies were throwing up all over the place
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
