not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
