What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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