i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I enjoy the company of your penis
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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