And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
im holly from the hills drunk
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize