Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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