he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
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