I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
