I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
