I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
