i barfeds in our rink
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
