Is it because I queefed?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Someone came in the potted fern
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
