She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
