My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
