i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
