I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I wish there were birth control emojis
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
