i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
