Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
