so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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