She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
