What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
