I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Randomize
