Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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