we have officially lost it.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i think i have two assholes
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
