pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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