quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
