your thong is hanging out like whoa
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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