Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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