C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Barsexuality is the new black.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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