didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
