wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
