and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
