I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
