Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
