Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
