Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
