I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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