I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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